Best Toy Ever

Dad gave me the best toy ever today!
He "dropped" a green bean, but it was pretty obvious that he just wanted me to have a special treat.
I can't believe how fun this thing is.
I'll have to find a good place to hide it from Stinky, we can't have him playing with my green bean.
Dad says that I can eat it, but I think he's just joking. How could anyone eat something this fun?

Noga!

I've determined that people seeking spiritual enlightenment can be easily swayed by some Ancient Far Eastern Practice, that I just made up.
I will rapidly spread the teachings of Nagi Yoga, or more simply Noga.
The practice is very simple.
First, contort your body into any position that is amazingly uncomfortable.
Second, chant nonsense noise and affect a demeanor of serene complacency.
Third, have all your followers bring you a fresh fish (preferably with the head still on... I like that part).

I've taken this practice to heart, and I've gotten Stinky to pose in some pretty ridiculous positions "to achieve his inner Stink!" He'll fall for anything. He hasn't figured out that I'm ragging on him yet. Just look at this picture.

Just remember that the true secret to inner harmony with the universe is to keep the Noga Guru stocked with plenty of fresh fish!.

I am Not Happy!

For the last few days I've been putting on a big act. I've been going to the doors and windows and crying my most pitiful cry. I've been trying to tell Mom and Dad that I want to go outside. When the crocodile tears didn't work, I tried scratching at the door (that usually works for Katie's room). Still, they didn't let me out. They kept giving me some lame excuse about the last time I got lost for four days. That wasn't my fault, somehow Stinky is to blame for that, and as soon as I figure out how, I'm gonna smack him for it.
I kept up my routine anyway. Usually after a few days of me asking for something continually day and night, they give in. I get lots of bakery goods that way.
Instead, this time Dad came home with a monstronsity. He calls it a harness. I call it a device of torture. He strapped it on me, hooked it to a dog leash, and carried me outside.
Then, he stood there with me! How am I supposed to do adventurous things with a 6' cord that leads straight to Dad.
Trapped like a Dog! How revolting.
I might as well go back inside.
I decided to use his jacket as a scratching post as a proper thank you.

Major Product Endorsement

Dad has finally found the cord for the Camera so that I can update my blog. I've had to wait for months for him to do this. He keeps giving me some lame excuse about being at work for 14 hours a day. That still leaves 10 hours to do my bidding. Plenty of time.

After my failed attempt at political endorsement, I have decided that product endorsement is the way to go. I will be sending a bill to Krispy Kreme Donuts for my obvious endorsement earlier in this blog. Payment will be expected in donuts... the ones with the creme in them... maybe a whole dozen.

My next endorsement will be for Lloyds Barbeque Chicken. It comes in a big tub and it's all shredded up. I just have to wait for Mom to turn her back for a minute, and it's all mine. This is the spot where I'll say how wonderful it is, and earn that great big endorsement fee.

"It Tastes Like Chicken!" - Nagi

Now if that isn't a glowing endorsement, I'm not sure what is. I'll expect my own personalized tub to be delivered immediately. If you deliver 2 tubs, then I'll allow you to print my endorsement on the package.

Once you deliver the tubs, I want to talk to you about this idea I have for Barbeque Shredded Mouse. I think it would really take off.